Honor your feelings – You will be having feelings about being happy for your friend but also being sad for yourself, and you will most definitely be jealous of your friend even if you are happy for her. And that is healthy to honor your feelings and allow them to process. Because ignoring your feelings only causes more harm than good as it will lead to depression, overeating, or even drinking.
Be honest with your friend – You may be afraid that your pregnant friend may be offended if you are honest how you are happy for her but sad for yourself, and cannot celebrate her pregnancy as a result. However, you would be pleasantly surprised that she will understand and will not expect you to celebrate her pregnancy. She will be glad you had spoken up as communication dissolves any barriers of any kind of misunderstandings. And, if your friend is upset and calls you selfish then she was never a friend in the first place who you can ditch.
Take a step back – If you are dreading to go to the next celebration whether it is a friend’s baby shower or even a wedding, then you don’t need to go at all. Especially since these celebrations can be difficult to attend when you are struggling due to seeing pregnant women or mothers with babies. You can always order a gift from Amazon to acknowledge the celebration as well as you do not need to go into any store that has a baby section.
Join support groups – The only group of people that you will want to be around that will understand what you are going through are those who clearly understand where you are coming from due to the fact that they are struggling with infertility themselves. There are many support groups online and even offered through fertility clinics that you can take well advantage of in order to feel less alone. Yes, infertility is quite isolating, but if you engage with others who are facing the same or similar issues, then you will feel less alone which will be extremely helpful. Just be prepared that some people who you meet online or in groups may end up successfully becoming pregnant which means you will likely have feelings of jealousy but at the same time, you will be happy for them. Or the tables could be turned and you could be the one getting pregnant and you will need to be prepared that others will have the same feelings as well.
Don’t shame pregnant women for their complaints – If you hear of a pregnant woman complaining about how sick or she is, or how tired she is, or how pained she is, the best thing to do is if you are unable to say anything helpful is to just say nothing at all. You may be tempted to tell her to count her blessings but that will only make her angry. The same way you would be upset if someone had told you to count your blessings for not having to deal with middle of the night feedings and constant diaper changes. The best policy is the one that your mother had told you since day one and that is if you are unable to say anything nice at all, then don’t say anything at all.
Diversify your interests – There is no better time to start looking into new hobbies and interests in order to get your mind off of your fertility struggles. This will keep you distracted and anything that helps you focus less on your struggles is beneficial for your overall health. If you want to start a new art project, do it. If you want to learn a new language, do it. If you want to take dance classes, do it. Going through infertility is rough and you are going to experience pangs of jealousy when it comes to seeing or knowing of others who are pregnant. But there are ways to help make that more manageable by utilizing the tips given above.