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How To Handle Pregnancy Jealousy When You Are Struggling With Infertility

Honor your feelings – You will be having feelings about being happy for your friend but also being sad for yourself, and you will most definitely be jealous of your friend even if you are happy for her. And that is healthy to honor your feelings and allow them to process. Because ignoring your feelings only causes more harm than good as it will lead to depression, overeating, or even drinking.

Be honest with your friend – You may be afraid that your pregnant friend may be offended if you are honest how you are happy for her but sad for yourself, and cannot celebrate her pregnancy as a result. However, you would be pleasantly surprised that she will understand and will not expect you to celebrate her pregnancy. She will be glad you had spoken up as communication dissolves any barriers of any kind of misunderstandings. And, if your friend is upset and calls you selfish then she was never a friend in the first place who you can ditch.

Take a step back – If you are dreading to go to the next celebration whether it is a friend’s baby shower or even a wedding, then you don’t need to go at all. Especially since these celebrations can be difficult to attend when you are struggling due to seeing pregnant women or mothers with babies. You can always order a gift from Amazon to acknowledge the celebration as well as you do not need to go into any store that has a baby section.

Join support groups – The only group of people that you will want to be around that will understand what you are going through are those who clearly understand where you are coming from due to the fact that they are struggling with infertility themselves. There are many support groups online and even offered through fertility clinics that you can take well advantage of in order to feel less alone. Yes, infertility is quite isolating, but if you engage with others who are facing the same or similar issues, then you will feel less alone which will be extremely helpful. Just be prepared that some people who you meet online or in groups may end up successfully becoming pregnant which means you will likely have feelings of jealousy but at the same time, you will be happy for them. Or the tables could be turned and you could be the one getting pregnant and you will need to be prepared that others will have the same feelings as well.

Don’t shame pregnant women for their complaints – If you hear of a pregnant woman complaining about how sick or she is, or how tired she is, or how pained she is, the best thing to do is if you are unable to say anything helpful is to just say nothing at all. You may be tempted to tell her to count her blessings but that will only make her angry. The same way you would be upset if someone had told you to count your blessings for not having to deal with middle of the night feedings and constant diaper changes. The best policy is the one that your mother had told you since day one and that is if you are unable to say anything nice at all, then don’t say anything at all.

Diversify your interests – There is no better time to start looking into new hobbies and interests in order to get your mind off of your fertility struggles. This will keep you distracted and anything that helps you focus less on your struggles is beneficial for your overall health. If you want to start a new art project, do it. If you want to learn a new language, do it. If you want to take dance classes, do it. Going through infertility is rough and you are going to experience pangs of jealousy when it comes to seeing or knowing of others who are pregnant. But there are ways to help make that more manageable by utilizing the tips given above.

If becoming pregnant becomes an obsession

When you become pregnant, it can sometimes feel that nothing else in the world matters. Make sure you do not become obsessed. You can not be such a nice person anymore, for yourself and your environment. Are you too busy with becoming pregnant?

Too busy with becoming pregnant

Getting pregnant can be pretty confiscated. Logical, because it is one of the biggest decisions in your life, with many emotions involved. You can not turn it off on command. But make sure they do not get away with you, try to stay true to yourself.

Continue with your life

It sounds like an open door, but continue to lead your life as you always did. Do not say no to invitations or plans that play in a while, because you think / hope to be pregnant. You can always cancel. For the time being, enjoy being free. Soon if you are pregnant or there is a child, you are more limited.

Keep it nice in bed

Easier said than done, of course, because you only have a few days a month to get pregnant. You do not want to miss out on that chance because your partner happens to be tired or does not feel like it. Try to keep it light and not to pressurize your partner too much. The feeling of compulsory sex is prohibitive for many men. It can not hurt to have old-fashioned sex-for-fun at another time than around ovulation.

Stay interested in other things

Ovulation tests , hormone levels, seed quality, handy positions: for someone who wants to become pregnant, a world of fascinating facts and facts opens up. Maybe you do not want to talk about anything else all day long. But not everyone shares your interest just as intensely. Alternate from conversation topic once in a while.

Do not let yourself get hurt

People who know that you are getting pregnant say sometimes unpleasant things out of clumsiness or lack of tact. “Ah, otherwise you just adopt it?” Or “You do not have to worry about it, then it happens automatically”. Those comments can come hard, especially if you are already worried if it will succeed. Try to let them slide away from you and remember that most people mean well. Not everyone is equally capable of moving in you.

Stay positive

Last but not least: keep your courage! If you have been working for a while and it still does not work, you can get everything in mind. But do not worry if you do not get pregnant right away. With few couples, it is in one go. And there are enough women who, for example, only become pregnant after a year, without there being a specific cause behind it.

Is your body ready for pregnancy?

The time has come: you throw away your contraception and you are ready to become pregnant. But is your body too? Check the points below to see if you are ready for pregnancy and learn to recognize fertile days.

Healthy lifestyle

Do you think it’s time to start children? First of all, it is important to live healthily. Stop smoking, drinking and drugs. Eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and drink less coffee or energy drinks. In addition, it is important to swallow folic acid to prevent the risk of an open back or hare lip in your child. People with over- or underweight also do well to lose weight or to arrive. Women with a Body Mass Index (BMI) between 20 and 30 are most likely to become pregnant.

Fruitful days

Are you healthy? Then you are ready for the next step: getting pregnant. You can make the best out of it on the days before ovulation, your fertile days. Did you know that nature helps you to get pregnant quickly? Women feel sexier during ovulation. Men also feel more attracted to you. Women generally have softer skin and fuller lips during their fertile period. Many women also feel more like sex during this period. This is probably due to the increased hormone level, but it can also be related to your breasts. They are more sensitive around your ovulation. In addition, the amount of endometrial glue increases during this period and becomes thinner. The white color disappears and around the ovulation, the mucus is clear, elastic and stringy. This allows the sperm cells to enter the uterus more easily via the cervix. The position of your cervix is changing during the cycle. Immediately after your menstruation, the cervix is low and feels hard. You can feel the mouth with your fingers. If you get closer to your ovulation, your cervix will rise higher and become softer. The mouth opens slightly and feels soft. In this period the cervix is harder to feel with your fingers.

Higher body temperature

Your body temperature rises by at least 0.2 degrees as soon as you have ovulated. By maintaining your temperature in a curve (graph) for a few months every day, you can read on which day you have anovulation. On the day you have to have your period, your body temperature drops again. The luteinizing hormone causes the ripening of an egg cell. Just before ovulation, your body makes more of this hormone. Sometimes up to 20 times more than normal in your body. You probably do not notice that much of this increase. In an ovulation test the level of this hormone is measured. More information on best month to conceive a boy

Irregular cycle

If your cycle is irregular, it becomes more difficult to find out when your ovulation is taking place.Categories In that case an ovulation test can be a good way to check when ovulation is coming and you are fertile. The same applies as for a regular cycle: free every two to three days in the period that you suspect that ovulation is taking place. In addition, it is wise to find out what the reason is that you have an irregular period. Read more about getting pregnant with an irregular cycle here.

Make sure that sex does not become an obligation

Getting pregnant is not only about the quantity of sex, but also about quality. If a man and a woman are both very excited during sex, the chance of a fertilization is much greater. Because the woman is moist, the seed can move better. And the quality of the man’s semen is better when he is quite agitated before he cums. It is therefore important that you continue to enjoy sex with your partner, even in the time that you are getting pregnant. In any case, make sure that sex does not become an obligation, although your desire to have children is still so great. Do not just work methodically, but make sure that it remains fun to make love. This is important not only for your relationship, but also for fertilization. Keep track of your menstrual cycle and know in which period you are fertile days. There are all kinds of apps to keep track of your cycle. These apps also indicate on which days the chance of conception is greatest. Keep enjoying during sex and take time for each other. The more excited you are, the greater the chance of becoming a pregnancy. Do not skip the prelude, but make a good feast of it. Make sure the penis is deep in the vagina during cumshot so that the sperm can reach the uterus well.

Statues such as the missionary attitude and ‘doggie’ would increase the chance of conception. In situations where the woman is sitting on top, the chance of conception becomes smaller, because the sperm can then flow out of the vagina. Do not go directly to the toilet after having sex, but stay there for a while. Twenty minutes of lying is enough. It can help to place a cushion under your buttocks, so that gravity helps the sperm cells on their journey inside.

Smoking and becoming pregnant

If you want to become pregnant, you better not smoke. Smoking can affect your fertility and is not good for the (future) baby. Read all about smoking and getting pregnant.

Smoking and becoming pregnant

It is strongly advised against smoking if you want to become pregnant. Also passive smoking can be harmful. Smoking has a greater chance of reduced fertility: smoking women are less fertile (-33%) than non-smoking women. Smoking women are also less likely to get pregnant in hospital treatments (for example with  IVF ). In both active and passive smokers the chance of success is up to 50% lower. Smoking women are also 50% more likely to have a miscarriage and a two to four times higher risk of an ectopic pregnancy. This is because smoking can damage the genetic material of the egg cells. Smoking women also come into the transition earlier. Note: smoking men are also less fertile. Men who smoke have a chance of reduced seed production and a larger number of  abnormal sperm cells .

Smoking during pregnancy

A baby in the stomach receives food and oxygen through the mother. When the mother smokes , toxic substances such as nicotine and carbon monoxide also reach the baby. Furthermore, the blood vessels narrow. Because of the supply of nicotine and carbon monoxide and the narrowing of the blood vessels, the baby gets less oxygen and nutrients. Passive smoking (passive smoking) is also not good. A pregnant woman can ingest toxic substances when she is in a smoky room. The baby also receives these substances through the mother’s blood.

Nesting rate during pregnancy

Many pregnant women start cleaning just before the baby comes. What is nesting exact, where does it come from and how do you deal with it? Nesteldrang is a cleaning, cleaning and buying fury that many women experience in the second half of their pregnancy, with a peak in the third trimester. Not all pregnant women suffer from it, one also more than the other and it can also differ per pregnancy.

What is nesting grade?

In the second or third trimester of pregnancy, you can easily be surprised by a huge clean-up, buying or cleaning needs. With passion and perfectionism, you use the mop, sewing machine, credit card or even brush. You have made it into your head to paint the whole house again, you have an enormous urge to put all books in alphabetical order and make lists of lists. The baby clothes have been washed three times, the pantry has been cleaned up and the chest of drawers is crammed with supplies for the baby. Most women say that there is no escape: it seems vital that everything in the house is ready for the arrival of the baby. You prepare your ‘nest’ for what is to come and that has a function: if the baby is there, it will take some time before you have the time or energy to turn the house back on.

Nesting grade: a primal instinct

Nesting seems to have something to do with an unstoppable instinct to create a good environment for your baby. Scientists are convinced that it comes from certain hormones, but proof of which hormones are involved has not yet been found. Research has shown that despite the fact that pregnant women have less and less energy in the third trimester, they also show a marked increase in activities at the same time. A remarkable contrast, therefore. And that shows that the tendency to nest has a very strong motivating power. Nestling is a primal feeling with a clear function that dates back to earlier times: a search had to be made for an environment for the baby that was warm, clean and safe. Insects and predators had to be chased away, materials were collected to build a cradle and a safe place had to be found in order to give birth. By the way, animals do the same thing. The tendency to clean up everything and to collect the necessities in preparation for a vulnerable youngster is a survival technique.

Nesting and your partner

Not only do you have “trouble” your nesting position, most partners also have to believe it. He must now immediately hang that painting, put the cradle together and clean up the attic. It may well be that your partner gets a bit tired of what he ‘suddenly’ has to do. And that is not surprising: he just does not suffer from pregnancy hormones  and therefore nesting, and the urgency is not as intense as you. In spite of your screeching hormones, try to be a bit relaxed about it. And also give him the credits for what he is doing at home to prepare for the baby’s arrival. The following applies to the partners: let your wife go her own way. If you go against it, this will only lead to unrest. Help where you can, make sure she does not stand on staggering kitchen steps and treat her to a cup of tea, bar of chocolate or pickle with whipped cream in the evening, just what she wants.